Quantfury Gazette


Shoot Elon Musk into space. Now.


Anyone that has watched a science fiction show has probably thought about it – what it would be like to explore the universe, to set foot on another planet?

It’s human instinct to want to explore, after all. However, unless we are among the very select few of people that go to school for a very long time, get picked by NASA, train for years, and then are once again picked to be the best of the best to go on a mission to deep space some time in the future, that curiosity will remain in the realm of fantasy.

Unless, of course, SpaceX is successful in its efforts to get a ship to Mars. If that’s the case, you might only need to be very rich to go. SpaceX hopes to commercialize space travel in the near future, which sounds a bit crazy, but most disruptive things are.

In case you’re not a space nut, the timeframe that SpaceX has set to get to Mars is pretty aggressive. They have indicated that they would like to land a cargo ship on the Red Planet by March 2022 and that they would put the first human on the planet by 2026.

Now, most experts think that is more than ambitious. They think it’s likely an impossible pipedream and that SpaceX does not understand what it will require to get someone to Mars, actually.

Personally, I don’t doubt that the company will do everything it can to get up there. Sure, it’s a crazy timeline, but so was the one that U.S. President John F. Kennedy set in 1960 to be to the moon in less than a decade.

In fact, I think it would be in the best interest of society to speed up that timeline even further. Let’s get a human up there ASAP.

But, not just any human. No, we need to send Elon Musk into space. Quickly.

It’s perfect. The man behind SpaceX clearly loves the idea of going to Mars – you don’t spend the insane amount money he has on the project without also having a deep-rooted passion. He also clearly craves attention. How many billionaires go on Saturday Night Live?

Sure, he’s not an astronaut, but when has not being particularly qualified for something stopped Musk from trying it. So, I say he satisfies is immense ego here and does us all a solid by strapping himself to a rocket and blasting himself into space.

The contribution to society would be undefinable. But, not for the space exploration reasons you might thing.

No, you see, the round trip would take about 21 months: 9 months to the get there, 3 months on the planet, and 9 months to get back.

That would be close to two years where we wouldn’t have to deal with Musk’s quirks and fever dreams causing ripples in everything he touches and, more importantly, Tweets about.

Yes, two years without Musk’s Tweets is exactly what the world needs right now. The man made Samsung Publishing’s (KRX: 068290) stock rise yesterday because he Tweeted about the song Baby Shark.

Samsung, which produced the video that made the annoying ear-worm go viral a few years ago, went from $41.31 USD pre-Tweet to a high point of $42.92 on the day.

Over a Tweet. About a children’s song.

We need a break from this man. Two years is a good amount of time. It will allow us all to relax and gain some perspective, I think.

And, hopefully when he gets back we will all understand the universe a bit better and stop causing stocks to rise because he sings a children’s song to his kid.      


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